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Posted By iamincontrol | October 2, 2014
Divorce: the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body. Growing up with divorced parents wasn’t entirely bad. I’m grateful that it happened when I was younger so I don’t remember the fighting and pain my older sister went through. Looking back on how my family essentially ended, I almost wish I could go through the pain my sister went through. That way I wouldn’t have to deal with it eight years later. After my parents split, my mom started dating and that is where it all started.
Depression: severe despondency and dejection typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. After my mom and her boyfriend got married is when the depression really began to take over. I found myself having these horrible thoughts that I could only share with my soon to be counselor. I stopped hanging out with friends; I was lying in my bed a lot doing nothing but having these thoughts run through my head. This darkness I called it. The darkness was always there. It was there to remind me that my family wasn’t a family anymore, and I couldn’t do anything to change it.
After months of endless thoughts, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get help. So I decided it was time to talk to someone. At the beginning of my journey with counseling, my counselor asked what my goal was that I wanted to work towards. I told her I just wanted to be happy. I had been so angry from my parents’ divorce and my mom getting remarried that I hadn’t really dealt with pain from the divorce. So a little after starting counseling and explaining all my thoughts and emotions, I was able to get better and be happier. I still had my days, but by confiding in a friend, I was able to work through it.
I guess the moral of my story is that you are always going to have that situation, that problem that will try to consume you, but you need to stand up and say, “Enough. I’m going to fight for my life.” The darkness will go away, and you can get your life back. Yes, there will be times where you will think it’s impossible and want to give up. Just remember, “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” – Bill Cosby