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I AM in Control.org Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality

Tag: sex

Dec 25

Going to the Gyno

Posted By iamincontrol | December 25, 2014

Winter break is almost here! That means no school, Christmas presents, and…lying on your back in a doctor’s office with your legs in stirrups??

Although it won’t be the most fun thing you could do in your time off from school, winter break is a great time to get in to see a gynecologist (or ‘gyno’ for short, like ‘guy-no’) for the first time. If your town or area doesn’t have a gynecologist or women’s doctor, don’t worry—most general family doctors and healthcare workers can do these exams, too! Doctors recommend that girls get in for their first check between 13-15 years old if sexual active. But you do not need a pelvic exam to receive birth control. If you haven’t already gone in, ask your parent about setting up an appointment over the holiday break.

It depends on the doctor, but most of the first visit will just be talking—about topics like sexuality, birth control, periods, and STDs, to start. The doctor or nurse will also probably do a short physical exam to make sure everything’s okay.

Remember that gynecologists go to school for a long time to specialize in women’s health—and that means women of all ages! So don’t be afraid to ask questions. They are there to help you!

For more information about what to expect during your first gynecologist’s visit, check out http://teens.webmd.com/girls-puberty-10/gynecologist-visit.


 

Nov 10

“I CAN SMELL YOUR SCENT FROM MILES” – WHAT DID ADAM LEVINE JUST SAY?

Posted By iamincontrol | November 10, 2014

Just like most of America, I am a huge fan of Maroon 5’s music.  When the Iowa State Fair announced, a few years ago, that Maroon 5 and Train would be a headliner in their concert series. I was sold and could be found near the front on the right side of the stage jamming to “Moves Like Jagger” and “Hey, Soul Sister.” The band’s front man, Adam Levine, has gotten a lot of attention lately for his marriage and role on the popular TV show, “The Voice.” But with the video above, I am starting to rethink my love for the band?

If you haven’t watched the video, the video displays Adam Levine stalking his wife in the grocery store, on the street, and even in her bedroom. In addition, the lead man is found taking photos of his “prey”. Lastly, Adam is displayed running around a cooler hugging shanks of meat and pour blood over himself. The video leads the viewer wondering—what is the point and why?

Is Adam just trying to show off his wife? Show off his abs? I am not sure. But one thing the video does is tries to “okay” stalking and turning people into pieces of meat to devour. Some people may say that this is art or not care, but what does this say about how we treat our boyfriends or girlfriends. What does this say about how we treat those that we care about? As a piece of meat, I want to never be thought of as that. Maybe Maroon 5 went for the shock factor; but before they sing lines like, “hunt you down, eat you alive”, they should think about turning people into a side of beef.

Oct 30

Who to Talk to?

Posted By iamincontrol | October 30, 2014

teen with question mark
By Kayleen

Growing up is tough.  There are so many experiences and changes you face throughout middle and high school.  Some big changes that arise have to do with your sexual health.  (If you aren’t quite sure what we mean by “sexual health,” the Act Together For Youth page on What is Sexual Health? may be able to help.)

When you have a question about sexual health, where do you go?  The first thing you may do is pick up your phone or use your computer to look up the answer on the Internet.  The Internet does have a few reliable and helpful websites, but it is not always the same as talking to someone about your question.

Who is the person in your life that you can ask questions about sexual health?  Friends/peers may be the first people that you go to, but they may not be very knowledgeable on the subject. They may be wondering the same thing as you.  One of the best people you can talk to, besides a family physician or nurse, would be a parent or trusted adult in your life.  Some teens are already close to a parent or trusted adult and have established a relationship where open conversation is easy. That is a great relationship to have.  Other teens do not that have relationship with a parent or trusted adult at all, but it’s never too late to establish one.

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Sep 25

Reproductive Coercion

Posted By iamincontrol | September 25, 2014

birth control pills
REPRODUCTIVE COERCION: What is it?

Sexual coercion is a term used to describe when someone pressures, forces, or uses manipulation to get someone else to engage in a sexual act that they don’t want to do or are uncertain about doing.  How about reproductive coercion?  Maybe you’ve heard about it, but probably not.  This term is being used to describe behaviors that interfere with a person’s decision about use of contraception or getting pregnant.  It is typically a form of pressure or control that an intimate partner may use related to sexual activities.  For example, a young man may put lots of pressure to have sex without using condoms because it affects his perception of pleasure – regardless of the risk to his partner for an STD or pregnancy.  Another example would be a young woman who tells her boyfriend that she is using birth control but really isn’t because she wants to get pregnant (even if her boyfriend doesn’t).  On the flip side, a guy who wants his girlfriend to get pregnant (even if she doesn’t) may mess with her birth control pills so she is not protected. There are usually two types of reproductive coercion: birth control sabotage (attempts to interfere with use of effective birth control) and pregnancy pressure/coercion (attempts to influence decisions about pregnancy).

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Sep 9

You Are Worth It

Posted By iamincontrol | September 9, 2014

you are worth it
By E

My name is E, and I am a college sophomore. I decided to write a blog post after I was given the opportunity to if I felt encouraged. I thought about it for a while, convinced I wouldn’t have time or would forget, and then decided to share my story. I am not sure if my story will relate to those reading it, but if it does, I hope you feel encouraged or in some way reassured that you are not alone, there are others going through life with you, and there is always a light waiting for you at the end of whatever tunnel you are going through. I am unsure, as I begin to write, whether I am writing for solely the audience of these blogs or partly for myself. I think writing your feelings and expressing the hurts allows you to finally close chapters. So as I write this, I write for myself and I write for you: I hope in some way this can help you, a friend, or maybe myself.

I have always loved people. Pleasing people, making them smile, laugh, or just making them happy. I always had many friends. I was the “goofy friend”; I liked to eat, I liked to laugh. I was never the most popular, most pretty, or most athletic- but I loved the positive attention I got from being funny and happy. Growing up I was heavier. Never to the point where I needed to be on a diet, but “healthy,” as my mom would call my extra weight I had over the other girls and boys in my class. I was overweight until seventh grade when all of a sudden I wasn’t happy with my body. The media became more of something I paid attention to. I noticed I didn’t look like the other girls in my class, and I definitely didn’t look like any of the females glamorized on TV or magazine covers. Within about four months I lost 35 pounds. I gained more friends. I gained more attention. I gained more attention from boys- and I loved it. The only thing I wasn’t continually gaining was weight. My friends and their parents would often comment how thin I looked, asking if I was eating. Some parents even contacted my mom to make sure I was alright. Truthfully, I was much thinner, but I finally felt healthier and I was. When I started to starve myself, limiting meals and calories and busting hundreds of calories in the weight room, that is when I became obsessed with “thinness”.

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Aug 28

Don’t Be a Bystander

Posted By iamincontrol | August 28, 2014

teenage girl
By Kathryn

Within my group of friends, there was this one friend who seemed to have it all together. She excelled in the classroom as well as in sports. She was involved in various clubs and organizations. She was very outgoing and responsible; our classmates and teachers liked her as well. At one time I would have considered her one of my best friends.

During the fall of my senior year of high school, my friend began to date a guy the grade below us. He seemed like a nice guy, a farm boy who caused some trouble, but nothing terrible. My friend seemed happy about her new relationship, and she quickly began to fall in love.

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Jul 24

Nothing to Be Scared of: My First Planned Parenthood Visit

Posted By iamincontrol | July 24, 2014

Teen at doctor
By Tess

The first time I visited a Planned Parenthood center, I was 16 years old.  It was very nerve-racking, so I made sure to ask one of my good friends to tag along to support me.  It was very easy to make an appointment: I just picked up my phone.  Once I arrived at the center, I filled out a few forms, which is normal for first time patients.  They were mainly focused on my overall health and any sexual history.  We waited for a short period of time, and then I was called back into the room.  The nurse came in and asked me some questions regarding my forms that I had filled out and took my blood pressure and weight.  I waited for the doctor to come in and perform the examination.  The doctor was very nice and explained to me the process of the examination.  She completed the exam and then explained to me the many types of birth control available and what option she thought would be the best for me.  I chose the birth control pills because I felt that this would be my best option.  The doctor explained to me how to take the pills, when to start them, and the benefits and possible side effects from them.

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Jun 26

Controlling Relationship

Posted By iamincontrol | June 26, 2014

controlling relationship
By Taylor

I was in an abusive relationship my freshman year in high school.  When someone thinks of an abusive relationship, they think of someone who has bruises and has physical evidence of abuse.  This was not my case at all.  He had an older brother who was a senior and had a lot of control in the school.  I was pressured into dating this guy and pressured to stay in the relationship.  He sexually abused me after a couple of months of dating.  I knew I should tell someone, but felt like if I did no one at school would believe me.  He made all of the decisions in our relationship and isolated me from everyone; he was extremely possessive and jealous too.

One day I was so fed up with everything that I just texted him and broke it off.  The next day at school he got in my face and demanded a reason.  I simply said I could not take it anymore and to leave me alone.  He acted depressed, and he and his brother tried to make me that way too.  Instead, when people said anything to me about the situation, I told them what really happened.  It felt great, and people did believe me because of how he reacted when I ended it.  Do not be afraid to end it; more people will believe you and realize what was going on than you think!

Some of you may have heard of this website from school or television, but I suggest you take their quiz even if you believe you are in a perfect relationship.

If you are experiencing abuse, there is help.  You can chat with someone at loveisrespect.org, call 866.331.9474, or text “loveis” to 22522.  Everyone deserves a safe, healthy relationship.

May 29

Surviving Sexual Assault

Posted By iamincontrol | May 29, 2014

serious teen girl
By Jessica

The summer before my junior year was when my life changed forever. I was raped by someone that I had trusted with my most precious memories. My two-year relationship ended because my boyfriend couldn’t look at me the same. When school started back up in the fall, I ended up having two classes with my rapist. I still remember when he ran into me in the hall and told me to “Smile.” My friend who had been in the other room when it happened started telling kids in our high school. People would whisper behind my back, and I knew I was being judged. Even around my few true friends I felt different. I started pulling away from everyone. Friends, coworkers, even family. I kept falling deeper into this black hole that I didn’t think I could ever climb out of. That’s when I started drinking and experimenting with drugs. There wasn’t a day that went by that I stayed sober, and I couldn’t differentiate between school days, work nights, or weekends. There was no difference to me. I started cutting my ankles. Then I got arrested for driving while intoxicated.

To be able to get this incident expunged from my record, part of my agreement with the courts was to talk to a therapist. For the first few sessions I wouldn’t speak, and then I began to open up. We talked about school, my family, my feelings, my substance abuse and finally the rape. My counselor helped me realize that I was not alone. I had friends and family that I could talk to and that could help me get through what had happened to me. I quit drinking and I quit all the drugs that I had tried. It was hard but by the time I turned 18, I had beat my substance abuse.

What I learned was that I was NOT alone, and if I had realized that earlier, maybe I could have avoided everything that had piled up after the rape. Always remember that no matter what happens, you are never ever alone, and you ARE a survivor. Today I look at my scars and I know I AM A SURVIVOR. I am now in control.

Mar 27

Why I Will Wait

Posted By iamincontrol | March 27, 2014

Teen couple
By Alexandra

Growing up in today’s society, it feels that everyone is having sex. Sex is everywhere, TV, music, movies, and hearing it from peers. During high school many of my friends lost their virginity by the time we graduated. I always sort of felt out of place, because I was still a virgin. It was not because I had religious beliefs I wanted to follow, it was just because I didn’t really have a stance on whether I wanted to wait or not. Therefore I decided to do some research and decide how I felt about sex.

I am a very visual person; I like pro/con lists a lot. When researching reasons to wait/not wait to have sex I put them into a chart. Many of the reasons to have sex were to grow emotionally closer to another person, feel pleasure, and show someone how much you love them. However, the reasons not to have sex were very daunting. STIs are among the number one reason to not have sex. They can impact your life and your partner’s life drastically.

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