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I AM in Control.org Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality

Tag: peer pressure

Dec 23

The Real Hunger Games: Finding Peace in the Day to Day

Posted By iamincontrol | December 23, 2014

The Hunger Games came out last week and like most of you, I had to get my eyes on that silver screen for the midnight premiere. I had to see part one of the ending of the saga of the Mockingjay. The movie, of course, did not disappoint. Full of action, love, and twists the movie is a must see during this holiday season.

There were parts in the movie that made me think. I know there have been certain times in my life, when friendships and relationships shift and change. Sometimes, a friendship, that you thought you couldn’t live without, takes a nosedive and blows up right in your face.  It’s a fact of life that things will change and we have a choice to fight that change or let it naturally ride its course.

Within the Mockingjay Part 1, we hear Katniss say “I never wanted any of this. I just wanted to protect my sister and keep Peeta alive.” I know I have said that same thing about a friendship or relationship that has been in shambles.  President Snow says “The things we love the most, they destroy us” I know when I love someone so much and our relationship is on the rocks; it’s like I rent free space in my mind to this hostel tenant. It’s like overthinking will help restore that friendship. And one of the worst feelings is when you love someone more than they love you. In the case of Katniss, on the nights before the Hunger Games, she let her sister, Petta’s love, and Gale’s love consume her to a point where she was willing to stand up to the capital or eat poisonous berries to save those relationships.  

Much like Katniss, she allowed for others to be the source of her peace. And in return, the people found Katniss to be the source of their peace. Their Mockingjay. And while this allowed for the revolution to occur, it made Katniss lose everything. Getting thrown into the hunger games twice, love struggles with Gale, etc. You should NEVER allow someone else be the source of your peace. You are in peace when you think your friends are not mad at you. You are in peace when you get ten likes on your Instagram photo.  You are at peace when that special someone Kiks you back. That form of peace is worthless and will always disappoint. So shake off that type of peace and learn to find peace in other things. I know I find peace when I connect to my family, multiple different friends, go to the gym on a daily basis, and spend time doing “me” tasks (cooking, reading, watching my favorite TV show). So find your peace methods, because it’s a lasting peace.


 

Nov 25

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Posted By iamincontrol | November 25, 2014

teenage friends
By Molly

You will find out who your true friends are when you are in high school. The friends that back you up and are on your side no matter what, those are your true friends. I struggled with finding my true friends. I went through the phase of wanting to hang out with all the popular girls from my class.  I soon became a part of their clique and all I worried about was what my plans were for the weekend. I began to be rude to my parents and flat out mean to anyone that tried to talk to me that wasn’t part of my ‘clique’. My three best friends that I grew up with noticed the change and didn’t like it. They told me that I was turning into a stuck up that would do anything to please my new friends.

I soon began to notice that my ‘new friends’ were actually rude to everyone. They didn’t care about the other people. They wanted to make fun of them and gossip. This showed me that I was better than that and that I should be nice to everyone. I stopped hanging out with them, and my parents and friends noticed me going back to how I was. You realize that your true friends will bring out the best in you. They will still support you no matter what decisions you make throughout your life.

You are in control of finding the right friends for you.

Nov 10

“I CAN SMELL YOUR SCENT FROM MILES” – WHAT DID ADAM LEVINE JUST SAY?

Posted By iamincontrol | November 10, 2014

Just like most of America, I am a huge fan of Maroon 5’s music.  When the Iowa State Fair announced, a few years ago, that Maroon 5 and Train would be a headliner in their concert series. I was sold and could be found near the front on the right side of the stage jamming to “Moves Like Jagger” and “Hey, Soul Sister.” The band’s front man, Adam Levine, has gotten a lot of attention lately for his marriage and role on the popular TV show, “The Voice.” But with the video above, I am starting to rethink my love for the band?

If you haven’t watched the video, the video displays Adam Levine stalking his wife in the grocery store, on the street, and even in her bedroom. In addition, the lead man is found taking photos of his “prey”. Lastly, Adam is displayed running around a cooler hugging shanks of meat and pour blood over himself. The video leads the viewer wondering—what is the point and why?

Is Adam just trying to show off his wife? Show off his abs? I am not sure. But one thing the video does is tries to “okay” stalking and turning people into pieces of meat to devour. Some people may say that this is art or not care, but what does this say about how we treat our boyfriends or girlfriends. What does this say about how we treat those that we care about? As a piece of meat, I want to never be thought of as that. Maybe Maroon 5 went for the shock factor; but before they sing lines like, “hunt you down, eat you alive”, they should think about turning people into a side of beef.

Oct 9

Changing Friend Groups

Posted By iamincontrol | October 9, 2014

teenage friends
By Anonymous

When I was in high school, I had a good group of friends my freshman and sophomore year. We would do everything together and would always hang out on the weekends. However, once we hit junior year, some of my friends started drinking, experimenting with drugs, and hanging around older guys. I did not want to do this because it wasn’t an interest for me, and it went against my morals. When my friends started doing these things, they would encourage me to do the activities as well. At first I would just go along with them to the parties and kind of be the person who would look after them and be a sober driver. After a while though, I got so tired of doing this and was not having any fun going out. I felt like my friends had changed. They slowly stopped calling me because I did not want to engage in drinking alcohol and doing drugs. I felt very hurt, lonely, and just lost. I felt like I had lost all of my good friends.

My mom noticed that I wasn’t hanging out with the same girls anymore and encouraged me to meet other girls by getting more involved in clubs at school. I took her advice and joined the choir at school. I met many great people through the choir, and I ended up being best friends with some of the girls I met. I also reached out to other people at my school who I had never talked to. I had more friends than I had before, and I was a lot happier. I felt renewed and felt like a better person overall. Even though losing some of my good friends from earlier in high school was hard, it made me a lot stronger. I realized that they were not the right friends for me. The friends I made in my junior and senior year are still some of my best friends to this day, and I am very glad that I met all of them! They made my life so much better.

Sep 4

Just Think Twice

Posted By iamincontrol | September 4, 2014

just think twice

Today we’re sharing a great resource called Just Think Twice.  This site is dedicated to giving you the facts on drugs and what their consequences could be.

Some of the cool features of the site include:

  • Facts & Fiction – Some of the things you may think are “facts” about drugs are actually myths, and they get busted here.
  • Consequences – Learn about what some of the consequences of using drugs could be, and read some true, tragic stories about their effects.
  • Teens to Teens – Members of the Drug Abuse Resistance Education’s (D.A.R.E.’s) Youth Advisory Board blog each month about a new topic.

Visit the site to find more resources and features.  Also, check out the IAMincontrol blog posts below to read about more real-life experiences with drugs and alcohol.

Alcohol: Not a Game
How Marijuana Affected My Relationship
Out of Control
DRUGS! They Determined My Life

Aug 14

Self-Esteem & Cheerleading

Posted By iamincontrol | August 14, 2014

cheerleader
By Anonymous

My sophomore year of high school I made the varsity cheer squad. I was the youngest on the team. This meant my close cheer friends were not there with me anymore, and I was with the older girls. I didn’t know much about them, and I was not included like I was on the other squad. As if this wasn’t hard enough, I was given a nickname calling me fat. I only weighed 100 pounds, so it was meant to be a joke, but this label caused me to have body image issues.

I did not have problems with weight because I was always active and ate a well-balanced diet, thanks to my parents. But being called such a name really upset me. I began to think my size was not socially normal and that I needed to gain weight fast. I did not want to be picked on anymore. I didn’t like the attention, so after practice I would go home and eat large quantities of food. It made me so uncomfortable, and then I would freak out because I was emotionally and physically overwhelmed.

I knew what good nutrition was, and I had a healthy relationship with food until those girls, who should have been role models, made me feel bad. Letting others shape me through their actions is something I am ashamed of. This caused me to have a poor view of my body image, leading to reduced confidence in myself and not wanting to be different within my social groups. This one name did not just affect me when I was with those girls; it affected my everyday life and my everyday decisions.

My self-esteem and health were affected, and this is something I never wanted anyone to destroy. Because I laughed and didn’t stand up for myself, this joke seemed acceptable to them. The harm of words is not temporary; it leaves an everlasting message with the individual. Through being a positive role model and a good friend to all, I aspire to be different and encouraging. Check out this website for fun, helpful information regarding a positive body image!

Aug 7

Avoiding Alcohol

Posted By iamincontrol | August 7, 2014

avoiding alcohol
By Anonymous

I don’t remember exactly when it started, but I think it was in 8th grade – the day that alcohol joined my friend group. I remember feeling shocked when I first found out that some of my friends had started to drink. At first it wasn’t very many of them, and we were able to maintain our friendships despite our differences. Then we got to high school, and everything went downhill quickly.

My friends started slipping under the control of alcohol. By the time we were sophomores, the majority of my friends, both guys and girls, were drinking almost every weekend. I didn’t approve of their choices, but I tried to maintain the friendships. However, it was really difficult to do that when I couldn’t hang out with them on the weekends, unless I wanted to drink. Slowly, they began to dislike me because I wouldn’t succumb to their peer pressure. I was different, and we all knew it.

By the end of my sophomore year, I was isolated from the group. I spent the remainder of my high school weekends with a much smaller group of friends going to dinner, movies, shopping, or having bonfires or sleepovers. They were all activities that were free from drinking, and we still had tons of fun!

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Aug 5

Defying Gender Stereotypes: Muscles are Beautiful

Posted By iamincontrol | August 5, 2014

Girl lifting weights
The results are in!

Last month we asked you guys:

How often to do you see peers participate in activities that are not typical of their gender?

You said:

  • I see it all the time – there aren’t any activities that are “typically” for girls or boys anymore. (0%)
  • Sometimes (50%)
  • Hardly ever (25%)
  • Never (25%)

Here at IAMincontrol we think you should feel free to participate in any activity you enjoy, even if it may not seem “normal” for your gender.  We love Jessica’s take on this below!

By Jessica

I began weight lifting in high school. I did not participate in basketball like most girls, so to keep myself in shape I began using the weight room after school. Often I was the only girl in the weight room, surrounded by sweaty guys throwing weights around.  In order to better fit in with the guys, I began to lift heavier and more often. I saw that they accepted me more and were impressed by what I could do. However, a few girls in my grade commented on my arms or legs and said I was getting “too muscular.” I was proud of my achievements, but I didn’t want to look masculine because that is not what ladies look like. I continued to lift weights, but I focused less on large weights and more on repetition, which resulted in leaner muscles and the “toned” look that girls want.

While I still continue to lift and occasionally will lift heavier, this experience stayed with me and has stuck with me in current weight lifting practices. I’m glad that I started to lift because it led me to pursue an Exercise Science degree and teaching fitness classes. I wish I would have stood up to the girls who made fun of me then because I love my body, and I work hard for my muscles. Every body is different, and whether they have big or small muscles, they are beautiful.

Here’s a website to help when dealing with bullies and a Facebook page for girls embracing their muscles – check them out!

Jun 19

Celebrate your Individuality

Posted By iamincontrol | June 19, 2014

Teen girl
By Allison

During my middle school and high school years, I struggled a lot with self-image. I never felt truly accepted by my peers. I spent years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I would ask myself questions such as:

“Am I wearing the wrong clothes?”

“Do I need to have a specific haircut?”

“Am I listening to the right music and keeping up with all the celebrities the girls in my class talk about?”

“What do I have to say for Johnny to ask me on a date?”

“Why doesn’t anyone ever want to be my partner for projects?”

“What is wrong with me?”

All of these thoughts led to an extremely low self-esteem. I wanted so desperately to be accepted and be invited to the parties that people talked about. Sometimes, I even wondered if any of my classmates would show up to my funeral if I were to die unexpectedly. I was trapped with these negative thoughts, trying constantly to change myself and “fit in.”  I would watch the “popular” girls and try to figure out how they gained acceptance. They often talked about cute boys and complained about teachers or their parents.

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Jun 5

Alcohol Free in High School

Posted By iamincontrol | June 5, 2014

Teenage friends
By Katie

Hi! My name is Katie, and I am going to talk about the pressure to drink alcohol as a teen. When I was in high school, the cool thing to do seemed to be drinking. All the older kids were doing it, and if you wanted to be cool, that’s what you were supposed to do. I’m here to tell you differently.

I never drank as a teen, and neither did any of my friends. I went to a small school, so I had a lot of friends, both boys and girls. We were all very close throughout high school, and I think that really helped us hold each other accountable. We always found things to do other than drinking on the weekends. We would go mini golfing, to the drive-in movie theater, down to the river to have a fire and hang out, giant games of hide and go seek around town or one of the parks in town, or even just a giant movie night at someone’s house.

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