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I AM in Control.org Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality

Tag: domestic violence

Jul 30

Trust Me, You Have Time

Posted By iamincontrol | July 30, 2013

Unhappy teen couple
By Breanna

I was your age once. Like many of you, I wanted a boyfriend really bad. A lot of the girls in my class had one and I sort of felt left out since I didn’t. Well, junior year I finally had a “boyfriend.” I put boyfriend in quotes because we were more than friends but not officially dating. He treated me as an object, not as a person. He even once told me that the only reason he ever kissed me was so he could practice. One day he would tell me that he liked me and then a couple days later he would act like I didn’t exist. He loved to play mind games.

All that he was doing to me was making me into someone I wasn’t. I was sad and angry, a lot. I became too involved in the relationship, trying too hard to make things work out. I was not myself anymore and I wasn’t enjoying my teenage years and high school as much as I should have.

This experience was important to me for many reasons. It took me a very long time to realize that I needed to remove myself from the relationship that I was in. Now, I don’t put up with people who treat me badly. As terrible as the whole situation was, I would not be where I am today or who I am today if things between him and I had worked out.

I learned that a good, healthy relationship is worth the wait. I learned what I wanted and didn’t want in future relationships. I learned the hard way that I should have listened to my family and friends when they told me get out of the relationship.

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Jun 25

Abusive Relationship

Posted By iamincontrol | June 25, 2013

Abusive Relationship
By Maggie

I was a junior in high school when I got into my first serious relationship.  He was my best friend, I spent day after day with him; as long as we were together, we were happy.  I had never felt so comfortable with someone in my entire life.  He knew everything about me, and I knew all about him.  At the time, I was young and naïve, I was head over heels in love with him and I thought that he was the man I would be with the rest of my life.

It was the summer going into our senior year: we had been together seven months and were crazy about each other.  Slowly, he started insulting me.  He told me many times that no one else would ever love me, that I was damaged and if it was not for him, I would be alone.  Not wanting to believe that he could be this mean, I convinced myself that he must had been going through a tough time with something.  Telling myself this made me feel better, and I let him get away with it, hoping he would soon stop.

A month later, the insults became more common, and much worse.  Not being able to take it anymore, I told him that he was hurting my feelings, and that I really wanted him to stop.  This only made him angrier.  We were at the town festival when his anger took on a new level.

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Mar 28

Sexual Assault

Posted By iamincontrol | March 28, 2013

Serious teenage girl
By Mellette

One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually assaulted before they reach age 18.

There are many myths that make the issue of sexual assault confusing and embarrassing for teens to discuss with peers, family members, teachers, and mentors. Learning the truth behind the myths could help you or a friend begin to heal from the sexual abuse you or someone you know has experienced. A myth is an assumption that society makes about an issue before knowing the facts. These assumptions are commonly heard, discussed, and believed by multiple people. Some frequently heard myths are as follows:

Myth – People can prevent or resist sexual assault if they want to.
FactThere are many reasons why a person could not resist a sexual assault, including fear of death.

Myth – People frequently lie about being sexually assaulted.
Fact People do not lie about being sexually assaulted. The FBI reports that only 2% of reported sexual assaults are false accusations. Additionally, due to the shame and stigma associated with sexual assaults, only 16% of sexual assaults are actually reported.

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Dec 25

Teen Dating Violence

Posted By iamincontrol | December 25, 2012


By LeahUnhappy teen couple

Not everyone gets along with their boyfriend or girlfriend all the time, right?  But, it crosses the line when the person you care about breaks you down verbally, emotionally, or physically.  That is dating violence, and like bullying, it hurts.  Teen dating violence is a serious issue that is gaining recognition due to celebrity incidents (Rihanna & Chris Brown) and several prevention campaigns that have been advertised in the media.  Ever heard of loveisrespect.org?  Or breakthecycle.org?  These sites help teens identify warning signs and prevent dating abuse, as well as give you resources to help those that are already experiencing it.  MTV has promoted the “Love is Respect” campaign by advertising the website after any shows containing teen dating violence.  Information about what dating violence is and what help is available has given teens a voice to share their experiences and find solutions and healing.

Teen dating violence includes much more than just physical violence.  With texting and social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) becoming more common ways to communicate, they have also become tools for perpetrators of dating violence.  According to loveisrespect.org, “digital abuse” is happening when your partner…

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