Need to Talk?

available 24/7

M-F 8am-8pm
Let's Talk
I AM in Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality

Tag: cyber bullying

Nov 13

“It’s my body and it should be my choice”

Posted By iamincontrol | November 13, 2014

Just like the rest of America, I love Jennifer Lawrence. It is refreshing to see a female celebrity who comes off as funny, strong, and wonderfully flawed. Her appeal as a public figure and as a woman goes far beyond her sexuality—which is why the malicious nude photo leaks last month were so upsetting to millions of people.

In the comments sections of articles about the leaked photos, I saw some disturbing trends. By sending her partner these pictures in the first place, ‘she was asking for it’; many people were calling her horrible names. Other comments focused on picking apart her body, calling her ‘fat, ‘not so great.’

The sad thing is, sexual exploitation like this happens all the time—both to celebrities and to people like you and me. It seems like every few weeks over the last 3-4 years I’ve read a news story about sexting gone wrong, or leaked Snapchat photos. Why did it take a celebrity scandal to get the whole country talking about this as a form of bullying??

In typical fashion, J-Law came out and bluntly condemned those responsible for the leaks in addition to people who searched for and looked at the pictures.

“Just because I’m a public figure, just because I’m an actress, does not mean that I asked for this,” she said. “It does not mean that it comes with the territory. It’s my body, and it should be my choice, and the fact that it is not my choice is absolutely disgusting. I can’t believe that we even live in that kind of world.”

The upside of these leaks is the dialogue it has sparked around this kind of ‘un-consensual pornography.’ For every nasty comment about Jennifer Lawrence’s body, I saw multiple defenders who called the leaks for what they were: cyber-bullying, sexual harassment, and a disturbing reminder of how fragile our privacy is in the age of the Internet.

Feb 4

Social Media Safety

Posted By iamincontrol | February 4, 2014

Social media signs
The results are in!

January’s poll question was:
What is the best social media site?

You guys said:

  • Twitter (37%)
  • Facebook (12%)
  • Instagram (25%)
  • Pinterest (12%)
  • Snapchat (12%)

Regardless of what your favorite site is, we’re all using social media during the day (if we’re being totally honest, it takes up most of our free time). It’s a fun way to keep up with what’s going on with our friends, favorite celebs, or trends.  But we need to make sure we’re using social media safely.

Here are some tips on how to stay safe online, brought to you by the National Cyber Security Alliance.

  • Use your privacy settings wisely: Privacy settings are there for a reason. Do people other than your friends really need to see your posts, pins and tweets? Set it so only people you know can find you and see what you put online.
  • Read More
Jan 2

Hotline Round Up

Posted By iamincontrol | January 2, 2014

You never know when you’re going to need to talk to someone.  Today we’ve put together a list of some numbers you might find helpful when you’re going through something.

Teen Line 1-800-443-8336
You can call the Teen Line 24/7 to ask any questions you have about your health or a problem in your life.  They will answer your questions or connect you with someone who can.  You can also chat online with a counselor 8AM-8PM Monday through Friday.

Your Life Iowa1-855-581-8111
This 24-hour, confidential hotline is available to anyone who wants to find information about how to identify and deal with bullying or the topic of suicide. You can also text 85511 3-11PM everyday or chat online.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
This 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Calls are routed to the nearest crisis center in a national network of more than 150 crisis centers.*

The Trevor Lifeline (for GBLTQ Youth)1-866-488-7386 (1-866-4-U-TREVOR)
Providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth.*

National Sexual Assault Hotline1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
Sponsored by the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN). Online Hotline is also available (click the link).*

National Runaway Hotline1-800-786-2929 (RUNAWAY)
24-hour crisis line. It’s anonymous, confidential and free.*

Love is Respect: National Dating Abuse Helpline1-866-331-9474 (TTY 1-866-331-8453)
24-hour help for teens and young adults. Peer advocates are trained to offer support, information and advocacy to those involved in dating abuse relationships as well as concerned parents, teachers, clergy, and others.*

CDC-INFO 1-800-CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636) or TTY 1-888-232-6348
Formerly known as the CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline, counselors at this hotline sponsored by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) now respond to questions about personal health issues, not just HIV and sexually transmitted infections. Available 24 hours a day, in English and Spanish.*

National STD (STI) Hotline1-800-227-8922
The hotline is available Monday through Friday, 9 am to 6 pm EST. The American Social Health Association website offers information about sexual health, healthy relationships, STIs, and more. Check out – a site developed for teens and their parents.*

Always reach out to someone when you have a problem or just feel like you need to talk.  You are in control of your life.

*Hotline description from

Nov 14

Video Contest Winners: Governor’s Bullying Prevention Summit 2013

Posted By iamincontrol | November 14, 2013

Governors bullying prevention summit 2013
We have a winner!

The Governor’s Bullying Prevention Summit took place this week in Des Moines.  They had a video contest going on, and 30 amazing high schools and middle schools across the state submitted entries.

The top three winners were:

1st– Algona High School

2nd– Northwood-Kensett Junior-Senior High School

3rd – Clarion-Goldfield Middle School

Congrats to the winners and all the great entries that were submitted!  You can check out the winning videos and the 27 other entries by visiting this site.  Once you get there, click on the drop down menu that says “All Channels” and choose “Bully Prevention Entries.”  We hope you watch the videos and become inspired to stand up to bullying in your school.

You are in control of making your school a safe, supportive environment.

Nov 12


Posted By iamincontrol | November 12, 2013

Today we’re highlighting a great resource called Proud2Bme.  The site is devoted to promoting a healthy body image in teens and has really awesome stories and resources, like this video from a teen who had low self-esteem and body image due to bullying.

You can visit Alex’s site here at

Some of the other things you’ll find on Proud2Bme are:

Oct 3

Governor’s Bullying Prevention Summit 2013 & Video Contest

Posted By iamincontrol | October 3, 2013

We’re pulling a switch this month – our Bullying & Suicide post is trading places with our Alcohol, Tobacco & Drugs post (check back next week for that post).  We couldn’t wait to share this information about the Governor’s Bullying Prevention Summit 2013!  This year’s summit will be held on November 4, 2013 in Des Moines.

Why should you go?

Did you know that according to a 2012 survey, 57% of Iowa students said they had been bullied in school in the last 30 days?  That’s a huge percentage.  The goal of the summit is to talk about what can be done to prevent bullying, including what you can do as a bystander.  Speakers include Emily Bazelon, the author of “Sticks and Stones” , Deborah Temkin, the Bullying Prevention Manager at the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights, high school students speaking up about bullying prevention, and many others.  You can read the full agenda here.

This would be a great event for you to attend with one of your school’s clubs, so talk to your school administrators or a teacher to see if your group can attend.  If you register by October 19th, you will even get a free t-shirt.  Register here today!

Video Contest

You could win a $500 prize for your school by entering the video contest for the Governor’s Bullying Prevention Summit 2013.  You have one week left to enter!  The deadline for submitting your videos is Thursday, October 10th, 2013.

Go to this site for full details on the video contest.

Jun 25

Abusive Relationship

Posted By iamincontrol | June 25, 2013

Abusive Relationship
By Maggie

I was a junior in high school when I got into my first serious relationship.  He was my best friend, I spent day after day with him; as long as we were together, we were happy.  I had never felt so comfortable with someone in my entire life.  He knew everything about me, and I knew all about him.  At the time, I was young and naïve, I was head over heels in love with him and I thought that he was the man I would be with the rest of my life.

It was the summer going into our senior year: we had been together seven months and were crazy about each other.  Slowly, he started insulting me.  He told me many times that no one else would ever love me, that I was damaged and if it was not for him, I would be alone.  Not wanting to believe that he could be this mean, I convinced myself that he must had been going through a tough time with something.  Telling myself this made me feel better, and I let him get away with it, hoping he would soon stop.

A month later, the insults became more common, and much worse.  Not being able to take it anymore, I told him that he was hurting my feelings, and that I really wanted him to stop.  This only made him angrier.  We were at the town festival when his anger took on a new level.

Read More

Feb 14

Cyber Bullying

Posted By iamincontrol | February 14, 2013

Keyboard spelling out "Bully"
By Liz

Have you heard of Rebecca Black? Maybe you’ve heard her hit song “Friday.” If this is sounding familiar, you might also know that shortly after completing her dream of starring in her own music video, it went viral and teens and adults alike began leaving critical comments, or what she and I would call cyber bullying.

All celebrities have “haters,” and what Rebecca Black experienced via comments on the video, twitter posts, and ridicule on shows like Tosh.0 falls under some state’s laws against bullying. Unfortunately, in most states cyber bullying is only punishable by school authorities and does not include a fine or criminal charge of any kind. For example, in Iowa, harassment and bullying via electronic, written, verbal, or physical acts that have a negative effect on a student’s mental health would only be considered cyber bullying in a school.  You can read about Iowa’s full laws here.

Read More

Jan 10

Bullying by Friends

Posted By iamincontrol | January 10, 2013

When a lot of people think of bullying, they picture the kid getting a swirly in the toilet or being pushed up against a locker.  That’s how it’s shown on TV and in movies, and yeah, that happens.  But what about the other forms of bullying?  The ones you try to rationalize and say, they don’t really mean it.  The bullying from your “friends”.

I think people forget about that kind of bullying sometimes, and guess what?  It hurts too, just as much as being bullied by someone outside your social circle.  Maybe your friends tease you about having clothes that aren’t from Hollister or another expensive store.  Maybe they call you fat when you’re hanging out or make fun of you on your Facebook page.  Maybe you’re the one doing that to your friends.

Read More

Nov 15


Posted By iamincontrol | November 15, 2012

By Mary

Have you ever wondered why people bully?  I suppose it gives the person doing the bullying a feeling of power and control.  I am sure you have seen this in your school, at school events, or even cyber bullying (cyber bullying is any harassment that occurs via the Internet).Boy being bullied

Bullying can involve:

  • Direct attacks such as hitting, threatening, intimidating, teasing, name-calling, making sexual remarks, and much more .
  • Indirect attacks such as spreading rumors or encouraging others to reject or exclude someone.

Being bullied can make you feel tense, anxious, and afraid.  Teens who are bullied dread going to school and have a hard time focusing when they are there.  Some avoid going to school all together.  I don’t blame them!

Read More