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Posted By iamincontrol | April 10, 2014
Being the target for bullying and dealing with depression were two of the hardest obstacles I have ever had to face. I am writing this post with a smile on my face because I am proof that although these are difficult times, they can be overcome and life does become easier. If someone had told me this in eighth or ninth grade, it would have been difficult to believe. No matter what your age is, and no matter how sad you feel, remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. I remember feeling alone, very sad and unloved during these times. I also remember wondering if I left this earth if anyone would miss me. If anyone reading this is asking this same question, the answer is always yes. You are a unique person who is special in different ways and loved more than you know.
In junior high, I started hanging out with different people, and my best friend at the time did not like this. Rumors were spread on both our ends. However, my ex-best friend took it to another level. There was a big sleepover at a girl’s house, and I was not invited due to the rumors. I had a few friends over. The large party kept calling me, screaming at me, bullying and leaving harsh voicemails. My once so-called “friends” had called me every name in the book, informing me that no one liked me and everyone thought I was a “whore.” I remember bawling the next day, wondering what I did to deserve this. At school, I did not feel comfortable talking to anyone and I could feel people whispering about me when I walked by. This situation, along with a few other tough times such as my close sister moving to college, and seeing my how my uncle’s suicide affected my father and family, spun me into a deep depression. I would eat everything in sight, hoping that would make me feel better. I became very obese. I stopped enjoying activities I used to love doing. I did not talk to anyone and did not feel myself.
With the help of my loving mother who never gave up on me, my kind older sister, and a counselor, I started feeling myself again and gaining my confidence back. Although these experiences were very traumatic for me, I would not trade my past for anything. I think I grew as a person from this experience. Because I was the target for bullying, I think I am more aware of others’ feelings. I never want to see someone treat others the way I was treated. I am more empathetic and I now have a passion for helping people. I know what it feels like to be very sad, and I can now appreciate how content I am in life. If I could give one piece of advice for anyone dealing with something similar, it would be this: do not give up, things will get better. Know there are always people to help, and please remember you are not alone.
If you are experiencing bullying or are having suicidal thoughts, please visit the Your Life Iowa website or call them at 1-855-581-8111.
You can also call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or visit their website to chat with someone online.