POLLSee all polls and results
Tags#mentalhealth abuse addiction alcohol body image boyfriend bullying college contest contraceptives cooking cyber bullying dating depression domestic violence drugs exercise family fitness friends future girlfriend grief healthy holidays hygiene leadership LGBTQ love money nutrition parents peer pressure relationships safety school self-esteem sex sports STIs stress suicide teen pregnancy tobacco volunteering
Posted By iamincontrol | February 27, 2014
I lost my virginity after my friends did. I was 16 and I pressured myself into having sex with someone I didn’t care about, just to lose my virginity, just to fit in with my friends. If I could take that night back, I would.
All of my friends were hooking up casually with guys each weekend. I didn’t want to feel different, so, giving into internal peer pressure to conform, I decided to hook up with someone too. I didn’t like the person emotionally or romantically. I barely knew him, but I did it anyways.
Afterwards, I was sad. I felt used and upset with myself. Because I saw my friends hooking up with people each weekend, I thought that was normal. Losing my virginity so young and by someone I didn’t care about began and continued a string of causal sexual partners, having sex with someone just to make myself feel good. But afterwards, it never made me feel good. It made me feel worse about myself. I internally thought that the acts of sleeping with someone would boost my self-confidence. I was very wrong. It made me feel worse, and I was caught in a circle of casual sex and self-hatred.
I have learned to take the act of having sex very seriously. The risks of STIs and pregnancy are a real threat, and my self-esteem is worth more to me than a random hook up with a person. If I could take back that night, I would. Making love with a person, who you care about and who cares about you, is priceless. That is what I wish I would have waited for.