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I AM in Control.org Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality
Sep 23

Fighting Change

Posted By iamincontrol | September 23, 2014

fighting change
By Emily

For the first 11 years of my life, it was only my mom and me. She was a single parent from the very start, and in my eyes that was the best thing ever. We did everything together: we did homework, played outside, participated in sports, rode our bikes, and numerous other things. However, all these things came to a complete halt when she met Richard.

I was pulled from everything I knew because of Richard. We moved an hour away within weeks of her meeting him. My living situation quickly went from it just being two of us to being four of us with a fifth to arrive months later. When I say everything changed, I mean EVERYTHING! What we ate, how we lived, and where we went all changed. The time we spent together was cut way back; we did not go out and do all the things that we were used to doing. Also, I was not able to see the family members that I used to spend my days with when we lived by ourselves. This resulted in me losing touch with them because I was young. I had no way of getting to see them unless my mom was willing to take me, and she very rarely made the time. Richard made it so that I was completely cut off from the world that I was comfortable in and put me in a world that I hated!

If you couldn’t tell, I was not a fan of what this change was bringing. I rebelled, and my grades dropped dramatically. I was crying myself to sleep every night, and I just did not like anything! I was asked to write a journal for a school project to give to our parents for a Christmas present. I was brutally honest in this journal, saying things like, “I hate this place so much. I wish we had never moved here. I do not know why my mom thought it was okay to rip me away from my family…” and so on. I was told by my mother after giving them the “present” that what I had said was hurtful, and I needed to apologize. Being the angry and rebellious person I was, I refused to apologize. My negative attitude quickly escalated.

I could not get along with my mom while in high school. I always felt like she was holding me back and just being a real pain in the rear. It was fight after fight over simple things. I always blamed it on the fact that my mom and I are very much alike, and we would “butt heads” over things that did not really matter. Looking back, I could have made this much easier had I done those dishes she wanted done or put the basket of clothes away when I was asked.

However, now that I am in college, my mom and I are back to being great friends and talk at least twice a week. I now call Richard my step dad after many years of not wanting to. I would say that the lesson I got out of this was that change is very hard, and even though you may be going through something that you do not want to, it can lead to better things. You just have to be able to give every new opportunity a fighting chance and embrace it whole heartedly. I learned that no matter what, things were not going to go back to the way I would have wanted them. I needed to try and accept what was happening.

To Write Love on Her Arms is a great website to go to. Make the connections with others who are going through the same struggles as you are. You are not alone!