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I AM in Control.org Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality
Aug 28

Don’t Be a Bystander

Posted By iamincontrol | August 28, 2014

teenage girl
By Kathryn

Within my group of friends, there was this one friend who seemed to have it all together. She excelled in the classroom as well as in sports. She was involved in various clubs and organizations. She was very outgoing and responsible; our classmates and teachers liked her as well. At one time I would have considered her one of my best friends.

During the fall of my senior year of high school, my friend began to date a guy the grade below us. He seemed like a nice guy, a farm boy who caused some trouble, but nothing terrible. My friend seemed happy about her new relationship, and she quickly began to fall in love.

One day about six months into my friend’s relationship, she came to me and started telling me about how she and her boyfriend weren’t getting along. I didn’t think anything of it because that seemed like a typical high school relationship. A few weeks later, she showed me bruises he had left on her body. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I was furious at the guy and couldn’t believe that he had hurt my friend. I explained to my friend that I didn’t like what he was doing to her and that she needed to stand up for herself and not let him do that to her. They still continued to see each other. Looking back, I know that I should have told an adult.

A few months later, my friend came to me again. This time, her boyfriend was forcefully having sex with her. She explained how in love she was with him and how he was the guy for her. My friend was able to eventually realize that the relationship she was in was not healthy and that she had to get out, but it took time.

If you are stuck in an abusive relationship or know someone who is, find help. Ultimately it is up to them what they do, but be there for them and tell an adult. Once there are signs of any kind of degrading or disrespect, it is time to end the relationship.

For more help on signs and how to help someone who may be in an abusive relationship, you can go to this website.