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I AM in Control.org Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality
Nov 20

Dealing with Divorce

Posted By iamincontrol | November 20, 2014

sad teenage boy
By Kelsey

I was a sophomore in high school when my whole life got flipped upside down: divorce. This wasn’t the first time I have had to deal with divorce. My mom and dad got divorced when I was a baby, so by the time I was a teenager, I was used to the whole having to go to two Christmases, two Thanksgivings, and everything else that needed to be split up amongst my mother and father. My mom got remarried when I was in kindergarten, so I dealt with the transition of having a step-father and didn’t seem to mind it.

I didn’t start having conflicts with my step-father and my mom until I was in middle school, and my step-father took the lead parent role. I was not happy that my mom wouldn’t stick up for me and wouldn’t stand up to him. My mom and I did everything to please him. As the years went on, I had lost my close relationship with my mom because I despised the fact that she wouldn’t take my side and stand up to my step-father. One day when I was 16, my mom took me to dinner and told me that my step-father wanted a divorce. This took me by surprise. This was such a hard situation because I felt my mom and I did everything for him, and for him to take everything from us was just despiteful.

There are always ways to find positives, which would be my advice to teens who are witnessing their parents going through divorce. The positive thing that came out of the divorce was my mom and I became very close again and she respected my decisions, which I think about every day. I think the most important thing to keep in mind during the rough times is that it will get better. Everything has a way of working out, even if it doesn’t feel like it at that moment. The best way to cope is not to sit around and wonder what will happen, but to deal with the situation head on. Realizing that you can’t do anything about it may be very hard, but once you come to peace with that, you will find peace with the situation.