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Posted By iamincontrol | July 25, 2013
Talking about sex can be embarrassing, even to your friends, but what about with your partner? There are things you both need to be comfortable with before you start having sex.
Some questions to think about are:
- Are you both ready to have sex?
- Have you both been tested for STIs?
- Do you both agree to use a condom every time you have sex? (Learn how to use one correctly here.)
- Who will be responsible for providing the condom?
- Are you using any other forms of birth control?
So – how do you start these conversations? Here are a few tips:
- Pick a good time. You know your partner best, so choose a time when they aren’t stressed and have time to listen.
- Think through what you’re going to say. Writing your thoughts down can relieve the awkwardness.
- Listen. Conversation is a two way street. If they know you’re respecting them, they are more likely to respect you.
- Don’t give up. If the first conversation didn’t go as you’d hoped, try again. It is always important to be on the same page with your partner – you don’t want to be stuck in a situation where one of you isn’t comfortable. That’s even more awkward than talking about sex ahead of time, and it can make one partner feel unsafe.
If you think talking to your partner about sex is embarrassing, imagine talking to a parent. It can be really challenging, but chances are they will be relieved to know you are mature enough to talk with them about tough topics. Most teens who have had sex too early or become pregnant say they wish they had talked to their parents. For some tips, read our post on How to Talk to Your Parents about sex and more.
If it’s still tough to talk to a parent, talk to a teacher, school counselor or other trusted adult for good information. In Iowa, if you are ages 13-19 you can also text TxT to 877877 and get your questions about sex answered accurately and anonymously.
The TxT mobile texting program is free and shares medically accurate information every Friday. The first and third Fridays of every month teens can ask TxTina questions anonymously. Topics discussed include:
- Pregnancy prevention
- Talking with adults about sex
- Birth control
- Safe sex
- Healthy relationships
- Peer pressure
- Sexually Transmitted Disease (STDs)
You are in control of knowing when you are ready to have sex and how to be safe. Talk to your partner, talk to your parents, or learn from other quality sources to stay prepared.