Need to Talk?

available 24/7
Live Online Chat
M-F 8am-8pm
Let's Talk
I AM in Iowa Adolescents Making Choices to Control Their Future Teen:Health, Relationship, Body and Sexuality

Questions, Answers and Resources for Teens

Use this resource for questions regarding your health, your relationships, your body and your sexuality.

While this site is informative, it is not a substitute for talking to your doctor, parents or other trusted adult.

May 1

Follow us on Twitter!

Posted By iamincontrol | May 1, 2014

Want to find out when IAMincontrol has a new post?  Follow us on Twitter @IAMincontrolIA for tweets about our posts and events for teens.  Retweet to share your favorite posts with your friends!
Oct 21

Overcoming an Eating Disorder

Posted By iamincontrol | October 21, 2014

plate scale
By Ashley

I developed an eating disorder in high school. It didn’t happen right away, but gradually during my first semester. I had just transferred schools. I had always been pretty active, but I noticed myself working out a lot more than usual. I was so busy with homework, tests, and adjusting to my new school and life that I really didn’t think anything of it.

After being at school for a few weeks, my family started to notice me slimming down. They complimented me on my hard work and becoming more interested in my health. It wasn’t long before that planted a seed in my brain that if I was going to work on my health, I would need to start eating healthy foods too.

That’s when everything went downhill. I started keeping track of everything I ate. I was so obsessed that I used a calorie counter app on my phone so I could record my meals to know how many calories I was consuming. I gradually started cutting back on my meals to see how low I could get my calories to be that day. I would also record how much I would work out and be able to see how many calories I would burn. I never went in public to exercise.

Read More

Oct 16

Dealing with Depression and Anxiety

Posted By iamincontrol | October 16, 2014

sad teenage girl
By Emily

Dealing with depression and anxiety can be a daunting task, especially as a teenager.  You already have so much going on with school, work, extra-curriculars and anything else you might be involved in.  And then you have this nagging feeling.  It could be sadness, anger, fear, tiredness or any other combination of feelings.  Mine started slowly. It just seemed like I was having an off day, which turned into an off week, then an off month until finally I realized something was wrong.  I didn’t want to say anything about it because it’s not like I was sick. I didn’t need to go to the doctor.  I just needed to get out of my funk.  Things I used to enjoy doing were now things I shied away from.  Hanging out with my friends now became a chore.  I wanted to stay home and not do anything.  I couldn’t figure out exactly what was bothering me or why I had started to feel this way, but it was affecting my entire life.

Read More

Oct 14

My Journey to Self-Acceptance

Posted By iamincontrol | October 14, 2014

smiling teenage girl
By Jingyuan

For a very long time, I used to think I was ugly, morbidly obese and a creature of the shadows – neither to be heard nor seen. I was two hundred and forty-two pounds at just seventeen years of age. Today, I feel very comfortable with my weight, but my smile serves not only to show my appreciation of myself and my body image, but also to hide the many scars and wounds I have had to endure for most of my life. I am beautiful, regardless of what other people think. I know and believe this to be true. Anyone out there who has been told that they are not attractive or pretty enough, simply because of their body image, their shape, their height or anything related to their body, should remember that they are beautiful.

Read More

Oct 9

Changing Friend Groups

Posted By iamincontrol | October 9, 2014

teenage friends
By Anonymous

When I was in high school, I had a good group of friends my freshman and sophomore year. We would do everything together and would always hang out on the weekends. However, once we hit junior year, some of my friends started drinking, experimenting with drugs, and hanging around older guys. I did not want to do this because it wasn’t an interest for me, and it went against my morals. When my friends started doing these things, they would encourage me to do the activities as well. At first I would just go along with them to the parties and kind of be the person who would look after them and be a sober driver. After a while though, I got so tired of doing this and was not having any fun going out. I felt like my friends had changed. They slowly stopped calling me because I did not want to engage in drinking alcohol and doing drugs. I felt very hurt, lonely, and just lost. I felt like I had lost all of my good friends.

My mom noticed that I wasn’t hanging out with the same girls anymore and encouraged me to meet other girls by getting more involved in clubs at school. I took her advice and joined the choir at school. I met many great people through the choir, and I ended up being best friends with some of the girls I met. I also reached out to other people at my school who I had never talked to. I had more friends than I had before, and I was a lot happier. I felt renewed and felt like a better person overall. Even though losing some of my good friends from earlier in high school was hard, it made me a lot stronger. I realized that they were not the right friends for me. The friends I made in my junior and senior year are still some of my best friends to this day, and I am very glad that I met all of them! They made my life so much better.

Oct 7

Credit Card Debt

Posted By iamincontrol | October 7, 2014

credit card
The results are in! 

Last month we asked you guys:

Do you have a credit card?

You guys strongly related to “I don’t have one yet, but I’m going to get one as soon as I can.

Credit cards can have benefits if you understand and are experienced with them, but they can be dangerous too.  It’s easy to overspend, and Rachael’s story below perfectly illustrates that.  Read on to learn how she got into (and then out of) credit card debt.

Read More

Oct 2

Working through the Aftermath of Divorce

Posted By iamincontrol | October 2, 2014

teenage girl
By Anonymous

Divorce: the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body. Growing up with divorced parents wasn’t entirely bad. I’m grateful that it happened when I was younger so I don’t remember the fighting and pain my older sister went through.  Looking back on how my family essentially ended, I almost wish I could go through the pain my sister went through. That way I wouldn’t have to deal with it eight years later. After my parents split, my mom started dating and that is where it all started.

Depression: severe despondency and dejection typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. After my mom and her boyfriend got married is when the depression really began to take over. I found myself having these horrible thoughts that I could only share with my soon to be counselor. I stopped hanging out with friends; I was lying in my bed a lot doing nothing but having these thoughts run through my head. This darkness I called it. The darkness was always there. It was there to remind me that my family wasn’t a family anymore, and I couldn’t do anything to change it.

Read More

Sep 30

Overcoming an Eating Fear

Posted By iamincontrol | September 30, 2014

By Cambria

In 4th grade, my aunt told me a story about a relative who almost died choking on a food item. Not only was I terrified, but I started to think that I might die if I ate solid foods. From that day, I quit eating anything solid. I only ate ice cream, soup broth, milk, and water. During school, I would get my lunch tray filled with food, but pass the items to other students. At home, I wouldn’t eat and told my parents that I was not hungry.

One day at school they were serving one of my favorite desserts, a granola bar with chocolate frosting. I picked it apart to get smaller pieces. As I tried to eat, I spit the item back out and ran to the nurse’s office. I thought a piece of granola got caught in my throat. This probably only lasted 3-4 weeks, but it got so bad that my parents were going to take me to the hospital. When my mom told me that I would have to be stuck with needles and have tubes down my throat for me to get nutrition, I got more scared. As a kid, I was terrified of needles, and I was even more afraid of needles than I was of choking.

Read More

Sep 25

Reproductive Coercion

Posted By iamincontrol | September 25, 2014

birth control pills

Sexual coercion is a term used to describe when someone pressures, forces, or uses manipulation to get someone else to engage in a sexual act that they don’t want to do or are uncertain about doing.  How about reproductive coercion?  Maybe you’ve heard about it, but probably not.  This term is being used to describe behaviors that interfere with a person’s decision about use of contraception or getting pregnant.  It is typically a form of pressure or control that an intimate partner may use related to sexual activities.  For example, a young man may put lots of pressure to have sex without using condoms because it affects his perception of pleasure – regardless of the risk to his partner for an STD or pregnancy.  Another example would be a young woman who tells her boyfriend that she is using birth control but really isn’t because she wants to get pregnant (even if her boyfriend doesn’t).  On the flip side, a guy who wants his girlfriend to get pregnant (even if she doesn’t) may mess with her birth control pills so she is not protected. There are usually two types of reproductive coercion: birth control sabotage (attempts to interfere with use of effective birth control) and pregnancy pressure/coercion (attempts to influence decisions about pregnancy).

Read More
Sep 23

Fighting Change

Posted By iamincontrol | September 23, 2014

fighting change
By Emily

For the first 11 years of my life, it was only my mom and me. She was a single parent from the very start, and in my eyes that was the best thing ever. We did everything together: we did homework, played outside, participated in sports, rode our bikes, and numerous other things. However, all these things came to a complete halt when she met Richard.

I was pulled from everything I knew because of Richard. We moved an hour away within weeks of her meeting him. My living situation quickly went from it just being two of us to being four of us with a fifth to arrive months later. When I say everything changed, I mean EVERYTHING! What we ate, how we lived, and where we went all changed. The time we spent together was cut way back; we did not go out and do all the things that we were used to doing. Also, I was not able to see the family members that I used to spend my days with when we lived by ourselves. This resulted in me losing touch with them because I was young. I had no way of getting to see them unless my mom was willing to take me, and she very rarely made the time. Richard made it so that I was completely cut off from the world that I was comfortable in and put me in a world that I hated!

Read More

Sep 18

How Working through High School Shaped Me

Posted By iamincontrol | September 18, 2014

smiling teenage girl
By Annie

While the thought of a lazy summer sounds wonderful to some, it didn’t to me. I dreaded not having something to do every day. Rather than sit at home, I wanted to be able to do something every day and enjoy doing it. Once I was able to drive, I picked up a job during the school year working on the weekends. I loved the idea of being able to find a job that I liked, where I could make friends, and earn money. Working through high school gave me something to look forward to and gave me a sense of accomplishment.

Although my parents never forced me to have a job through high school, I felt like it was a good time to start working. It helped me create a balance in my life between school, friends, sports, and work. I wanted to be able to have a little extra spending money to go to a movie with friends or buy a new pair of jeans.

Read More